My heart...One year later

One year ago today our precious beloved was reunited with her Creator in Heaven. I just want to share with you all some of what we have experienced in the year since Lilly went home.

First, God's amazing peace has continued to cover us as we have mourned. From the first seizure, to her last breath, and every day in between God gave both Scott and I an overwhelming sense that everything was going to be ok. He has continued to uphold that promise this past year and we have never had a moment of dispair. This is not to say we have not missed our little girl or struggled with unanswerable questions. We miss her physical little body more than words can say, and it is painful to press God for answers and only hear silence. Yet, daily we are refreshed and restored with His goodness.

We have also continued to learn from our experiences with and without Lilly. We are not only learning about God's amazing truths as He continues to grow and stretch us with His wisdom, we are also learning the practicalities of living with loss. These are all difficult things and it is often confusing and frustrating as we sort through different situations and emotions. However, all three of us have grown closer and find ourselves rejoicing at how blessed we are. There really are so many great and wonderful things God has shown me this past year. I wish I could share them all, but I will only share what has been on my heart this last week. It has actually just been a feeling that I really couldn't put into words until this weekend. It was the peace and assurance that has been with us from the beginning, but was perfectly spoken this weekend by a wonderful, Godly women. It comes directly from the Word and cannot describe more perfectly how I feel at this moment...

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Psalm 27: 13-14

These days are so few and something better IS coming, friends. I mourn the loss of my daughter, but she is already is the land of living and I long to be there with her! This is why I have peace, this is why my life isn't so hard, this is why my sufffering isn't so great and my burdens light, and this is why I rejoice for Lilly! I do not dispair because one day soon we will see our Creator, our Savior, our most High Priest in all His glory. His goodness will pour over us and these days will be forgotten in an instant.

I love all of you so much and thank you for being so faithful to us through this amazing journey. We still count your prayers as blessings.