Happy Birthday to me!

Tomorrow is my 29th birthday! I really can't believe I am fast approaching 30. I don't feel 30. In my mind I'm still 25. This birthday is somewhat strange because I have spent the previous two birthdays in the hospital with Lilly. I'm not really sure whether to celebrate big or just stay home and mark another day off my calendar.

This is a tough week anyway as we remember the last couple of weeks we shared with our princess. It seems unbelieveable that it has been nearly a year since Lilly went to be with Jesus. When you have a child that is critically/chronically ill, you mark the passage of time with anniversaries such as ER visits, hopital stays, med changes, and other important medical emergencies and changes. I sort of feel like the anniversary of Lilly's death officially ends this weird calendar and forces me to move into a new chapter of our lives. We will no longer refer to months of the past year when we were experiencing some sort emergency. We will simply talk about Lilly's life in terms of the years she was with us. How strange that she is no longer with us...

On a brighter note, I am now 25 weeks pregnant which is a milestone I have been waiting for. Emory moves much more now and Liberty is constantly trying to wake her up so she can feel her move. Waking Emory up involves yelling very loudly and shaking my stomach as hard as she can. While cute, it is sometimes very uncomfortable :). I'm just glad that Liberty is excited about her baby sister. It is going to be so different having an active, healthy baby after only having Liberty for so long. I do hope that Liberty adjusts well. She is already feeling a little overwhelmed about not being the baby anymore. She constantly wants Scott and I to do things for her that she can do herself and says things like "I just want you to treat me like a kid." I'm not sure what is going on in her little brain. Does she think that after the baby comes she is suddenly going to be all grown up just because there is someone smaller or is she afraid she isn't going to get as much attention so she wants me to do everything for her? I don't know. I just try to reassure her that we are going to love her as much as ever.